Had a talk with mommy…
I let it all out. She asked what was holding me back from my dream. I let her know just how fucked up I am right now. I let her know how since my dad does what he does says what he says that it’s been holding me back. I let it all out. I told her how much he has hurt me. She knows that I haven’t been as motivated to lose weight to get to Juilliard is because of him. Because he doesn’t believe in me. And it’s made me feel small about myself. Made me feel like he’s right and I won’t make it. That I won’t make something of myself. That I don’t drive because he tells me how bad of a driver I am even though he’s never driven with me. I told her everything.
She told me I’ve already made something of myself. She told me how my coach told her last night I’m an amazing dancer and I’m gonna go places and she believes I can make it into Juilliard if i lose the weight. She thinks the weight is the only thing that would keep me from being accepted. People come to my mom and tell her how I’m an amazing dancer. People believe in me. She told me fuck what my dad says and thinks. I just have to do me and not worry about him.
I’m gonna lose weight. I’m gonna train harder. I’m gonna do everything 100 times harder than already. I’m gonna get accepted into Juilliard. And I’m gonna prove my dad wrong. I’m gonna make something big outta myself and not be a nobody ass hole like him. I’m gonna start doing it right. So fuck him and anyone else who doesn’t believe in me.
I’m gonna make it. Just watch me while I prove you wrong.
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